Dear Postmaster-General,

Paramount, naturally, is the sincere thanks you are owed for the several lifetime's worth of efforts undertaken while yet sherpa-ing now-antiquated paper post from end of existence to its opposite.

Of equal merit is your resolute determination for relevance during this era stalwartly fixated upon full digitization. Surely the tenacious productivity of today's postal services may be accredited to the fine work of the numerous dedicated officers such as J, the post-mistress of my tiny, home hamlet.

Of immediate apparency is her keen-edged savvy, evidenced in her operation of the office's specialized passport photo camera. Tin the he layman would no doubt stray by weakly leaning upon the cheap, cheating camera functions such as zoom, flash, focus, or the tripod stand--but not J. Clearly a dead-eye gunslinger's art of snap shots, J shoots from the hip.

Also endearing is J's lively notion of the comedic.

Where the plebeian resident struggles to grasp the value inherent in disinformation, my hometown's mail mentor stands ready to instruct. J's drawling lethargy of speech tantalizes while one wait to be re-re-informed of procedural steps for such silly trifles as issuance of international travel documents. Such jovial bureaucracy is especially festive when one factors children. Parents appreciate the unanticipated opportunity to diverge in the name of adjusted wardrobes. And surprise instructional inaccuraciesgranting those respective caregivers the the additional pleasures of either a high-stakes house-bound auto race or the placation of an irate infant injects zest into an otherwise mundane outing.

Moreover, off-the-cuff guess work with regard to completion of pesky, rambling, but always treasured application documents is, to J, a careening star of delight which is seized as the once-in-a-blue-moon treat that it is to be entirely deposited in the lap of the floundering applicant. And should said applicant actually possess some semblance of competence in such matters, J understands playful teasing via peppered misguidance helps to keep the energy of excitement afloat.

Still, after all the inventive fun, the Postal Service refreshes by keeping aware that their invaluable offerings are not limited to merely single mailing segments. Rather, the nation's mail delivery relies on professionals such as J to spread her mischievous breed of Tom Foolery to all quadrants.

Simple words fall short in expressing the exquisite pleasure to be found in days of anxious waiting for what is worried to be a lost birth certificate orginal. J know this without needing to be told, which is why, interspersed among the hiding of such official documents stop dusty shelves, J returns said legally binding paperwork to its sender so that all might appreciate the situation's gaiety. 

Thanks to J for safeguarding the fun in today' s Postal Service 'fun'ctionality, and warm regards to you dear Postmaster-General for the sharing of your gifted foresight, on exhibit each moment J remains in action. For granting immutable careers to community pillars the likes of J, we, the general populace are interminably indebted.


the Citizenry Next Door